I didn’t want a dog. I wasn’t looking for a dog. My friend, who has two dogs, thought I needed a dog. Just like a happily coupled person is always trying to play matchmaker, she was always on the lookout for a dog I could love.
TXT: Did you see the puppy on Nextdoor? So cute!
ME: NO, I don’t want a dog
TXT: just look please! So cute
ME: Fine
She sent the link:
I should have known better!
I am now the proud owner of Harley, the great mistake.
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Her mother was a purebred English bulldog:
Her father a malamute:
The owners believed the dogs had been kept apart. Had no idea that one night, their frisky fella had jumped the fence and had a forbidden romantic tryst with his lady love. At least, that’s how I like to believe it happened.
Harley is adorable and I can’t deny, I kind of fell in love with her. She decided early on that I was her person. She loves me with her whole heart. Her devotion is both humbling and burdensome. How do I possibly live up to the person she believes me to be?
I was excited to show her off. We went for walks and visited new places. Everyone oooh’d and aaah’d over the cute puppy. A woman told her husband they had to get one.
“She pee’d on the couch this morning.” I told them, giving the husband some much needed ammunition to fight back against the adorableness.
At ten weeks she stuck her head in a wasp nest and was stung multiple times on her face and body.
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At fourteen weeks she ate something off the ground at the local high school and ended up ODing on marijuana. When a dog ingests marijuana they lose control of their bladder, become disoriented, and collapse. It is terrifying.
At sixteen weeks she began vomiting non-stop due to a vaccination she’d had that morning. At this point the doctor at the emergency vet knew me by name.
When it came time to start trimming her nails, we discovered she is terrified of the nail clippers and freaks out whenever they touch her paw. The vet has refused to trim her nails due to the traumatizing effect it has on her. We pay in pain and suffering, and claw marks.
At six months we found a large pile of vomit. Upon further inspection I found a pair of my daughter’s underwear made up the bulk of the vomit. Our puppy/money-pit eventually ate and then vomited up ten pairs of my daughter’s underwear. At the same time, she was kicked out of puppy daycare due to her contracting mouth warts. (Apparently, it’s very common in puppies, but still.)
We noticed at about seven months, that her eyes were bothering her. They were swollen, itchy and red. The vet diagnosed allergies and prescribed steroid eye drops. It got worse. The vet diagnosed a rare eye problem that they had not seen before and prescribed antibiotics due to her scratched cornea, then a follow up of steroids. It did not work. From that point on we were in the veterinary office at least once a week for eye care.
After months and months we finally got referred to a specialist.
After a ten-minute exam by an ophthalmologist this was the outcome. Our pup has three problems with her eyes. She has a second set of lashes that are growing inward and laying on her eyes. Her lower lids are rolling in and the fur is rubbing on her eye, and she has “follicular conjunctivitis” which cannot be addressed until the first two are fixed. She will undergo surgery next week. Then we will begin the process of figuring out what she is allergic to. I just bet it’s going to be the cats!
Whoever tells you having a dog is cheap, easy, no sweat. They are a scam artist trying to pull a fast one on you. Resist! Or you might end up like us.
In debt to our ears and totally blessed!
Rebecca Lamprey 