Balance

Lately, I’ve been irritable, I get angry at silly things and find it harder to say what’s on my mind.  All my anger, my frustration, has conveniently/unfortunately been focused on my husband.  I get angry if I’m vacuuming and he’s sitting on the couch having a phone conversation with a client.  Why doesn’t he know that I want help?  He should just know these things, right?!  If I’m trying to throw dinner together and he’s writing a report, I’m thinking; How could he?

Experience has told me that this always happens when my husband and I haven’t had enough time together.  When we haven’t taken the time to talk, to listen and to just be with each other.  But, how can we be in the same house 24/7 and not be spending enough time together? 

Since this episode of the Twilight Zone has begun, my husband spends his days in the home office, working.  He is always available for a meeting, always ready.  When he’s not at his computer, he’s rushing to get back to it. “So-and-so needs this one thing.” or “I just have to finish this really quick.” and on and on.  As if he’s never heard of the mute button, he becomes angry when the dog barks and the people on his meeting can hear it.  Or, if the kids have a conversation that’s too loud.  As if he doesn’t want his co-workers to know he’s at home. They know honey, everyone is home!

In the spare moments we get to talk I’ve brought up work-life balance. He nods and agrees, but it’s like a foreign concept, a new game he doesn’t have the rule book for.

 It seems things will be this way for a while. I hope we all somehow figure out a way to balance our work coming into our homes and our home life interrupting our work.