The time has come. The population is steadily getting vaccinated and schools are re-opening their doors. As I have said since the beginning, this is the day I dread. With social anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome and a multitude of insecurities, leaving my house is the last thing I’m interested in doing.
Do I welcome the return of students to classrooms? Hell, yes! My son and daughter are both failing classes due to their dyslexia and the impact distance learning has had on their ability to access information. As much as teachers and staff have bent over backwards to make on-line learning a positive, functional program for all students, it cannot address the gaping chasm between typical and atypical learners. And, it’s been hard on me too: I miss my students, and look forward to being able to see them again in person.
Will I be healthier working outside the home? You bet! While my anxiety has flourished in this stay-home environment, I have become angry and sad, often at the same time. I find that I get frustrated at small things and have allowed loneliness to creep in. I need the social outlet of talking to co-workers and interacting with students. I need the stimuli of discussing different teaching approaches and what will best help a child. I can only reorganize the kitchen so many times, people!
Will going back to work help my marriage? It couldn’t hurt! We aren’t in any trouble, but I need a break. Too much togetherness is just too much.
Monday morning, I will rise earlier than I have in over a year. I will get ready and leave for work at a time when I am usually just waking up. I will enter a building I love, and have thought of as home for countless years. I will smile my biggest smile, though no one will know, as I greet the people who have made it so.
It will be different, and I need to continue to remind myself of that. No hugs, no sitting together in the staff room. I will be in my assigned space, six feet apart from others. Together, but not really.
Rebecca Lamprey 