Oops…

I was driving to the local grocery store the other day when something happened that caused my blood to boil.  I was at a stop sign and getting ready to make a right turn and a car next to me was preparing to go left.  The driver looked right and then looked left as they started to roll forward.  As soon as they saw a blue car barreling down the road from the left, they stomped on the brakes.  It wasn’t a gasp moment, it wasn’t an, Oh My God moment, it was a moment that we have all seen and experienced. That slight jolt of “oh crap” before a swift rush of relief when the driver hit the brakes. 

The driver in the blue car, however, did not see it that way. When they approached, the driver threw their hands in the air, a WTF look on their face. Then, as the car passed, they leaned on the horn. Forgetting, or perhaps never knowing, that a car horn is not a retaliatory device. It does not exist for the purpose of expressing your frustration or anger!

“Why’d you get angry?” you may ask. Well, there were two reasons this chapped my hide.  The first is that I’ve been on the receiving end of the angry horn honk and it feels like crap. It would swim in my mind for days, making me angry and self-recriminating in turns.  The second reason I got angry is: Who the hell is she to judge so harshly?  Has she never made a mistake, never had an “Oops, my-bad,” moment?  Is it possible she never rolled through a stop sign or started to turn right on a red only to find it was illegal at that intersection?

I learned recently that while in California (where I learned to drive) it is legal to do a U-turn at an intersection if not otherwise posted.  I moved to Oregon twenty years ago and just this month learned (through the Nextdoor app) that in Oregon, U-turns are illegal at intersections unless otherwise posted.  So, I am guessing over the course of twenty years, I probably did a few illegal U-turns.  My bad!

During the pandemic I often heard something that I know many are getting a little tired of, but I think applies here.  “Give grace.”  It’s the idea that we are all trying our best, so give a little grace if someone is having a bad day, or struggling with something.  Give them some grace, allow them the understanding that we’ve all been there, all made mistakes, and we get it.  The point is, life is hard and things happen. Why must we alienate each other, judge each other, and make it even harder?