It’s not Funny Anymore

I’m worried about my husband. 

At the beginning of the pandemic, I wrote about the fact my husband is an extrovert and I am an introvert.  It was humorous at the time. Hundreds of memes have popped up around the idea that introverts are in their element. But it is less funny when the man you love starts to look like this:

Although I would probably place his psychological state closer to that of Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

As I tried to talk with him about it, I realized that before the shutdown, he still struggled with not having enough social interaction.  He had his soccer game every Wednesday, lunches with co-workers, Tuesday game night with his friends, and at least one dinner a week with a buddy from work.  All this and a wife and three kids at home. Nevertheless, every Friday and Saturday I heard, “I wanna do something.”

It got me thinking. As a person with anxiety, I struggle to go out and do things, especially things that are new and unfamiliar.  Until now, that was seen as a problem, something I needed to fix.  Now that the world has become a marathon round of opposite day, does his unending need for social interaction need to be fixed?

I suggested, as kindly as I could, that we schedule a couple’s session with a therapist.  He said, “It’s not really a relationship problem.”

To which I replied, “Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d do it on your own.”

He nodded then brushed the idea aside, irritated that I saw his desire for all things social as something that could or should be changed.   

It’s not like he’s a hermit. My husband leaves the house to get groceries and has Zoom meetings all day where he interacts with people. We have a “bubble” with our neighbor’s family and we see them regularly.  Still, he has become sullen.  He has a short fuse and yells frequently.  His sleeping patterns are off, and I worry he is becoming depressed. 

As it stands now, there is nothing I can do.  Anything I say he runs through the filter of: she enjoys this, she doesn’t understand. So, I say again:

I’m worried about my husband.